I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
