I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
