I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
