White coat. Heels.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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