It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
