Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize