Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize