why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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