I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
