some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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