Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
