Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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