Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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