but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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