Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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