I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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