Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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