I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
