remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
