dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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