He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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