how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
