Christians are straight up FREAKS
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
