Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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