everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
