i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
