Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
