Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
