i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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