He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can text with my tongue
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
