Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize