i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
