i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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