you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
