i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
