dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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