I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize