I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
