it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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