dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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