Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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