Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
