you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
