I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
