Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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