How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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