I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
