How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
