i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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