Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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