My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
