just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
