I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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