By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
