Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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