i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
