please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
