We're facebook friends in real life
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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