I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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